As he sat, wearily disdainful, slouched like a grimy bag of gym socks found behind a locker in South Philly's crumbling, leprous, superannuated pug's palace, he stirred hopelessly through the seething remnants of the maelstrom of his mind-that same mind, once so keen, that had earned him the youthful sobriquet "The Ginzu Dick". The moniter, that hell-spawned witness to failure iluminated his sallow, stubbled cheeks, leering at his impotence like one of the two-dollar whores who sat, wearily disdainful and mocked him from the end of the bar. He had no opening paragraph.
But I do.
Yes, folks, Mr. Dan McKay of Fargo, North Dakota, is the 2005 winner of the Bulwer-Lyton Fiction Contest. A 43-year-old quantitative analyst for Microsoft Great Plains, McKay is the winner of the 23rd running of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Mr. McKay is currently visiting China, perhaps to escape notoriety for his dubious literary achievement.
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